How do you set boundaries in regards to your work/life integration? There is no “one size fits all” answer to this question. It has to work for you and yours. The thing about ranching is that in some seasons, it is a 24/7 job. When the hay is ready to cut, it needs cut. When the heifer needs her calf pulled, there is no, “Hold on, I’m spending time with my family.”
Notice that I said work/life integration and not work/life balance. Balance indicates that two things are separate and equal. But ranching isn’t that way. Often there is no line between work and home. The two must coexist in harmony, which means sometimes there needs to be give and take, depending on the season.
Most ranchers struggle with this. Hard work and working hard are engrained in every ounce of their being, so while spending time with family sounds like it should be important, it isn’t as important as being out there working. Many people evaluate their entire self-worth on how hard they work. While the millennial generation has adopted the motto, “Work smarter, not harder,” most previous generations live by the motto, “Just work harder.” Again, there is no one size fits all to this issue. It WILL look different for everyone. For us, work/life integration often means spending family time together WHILE ranching. The key is making sure that the two are working in harmony for you. If they aren’t, it is essential to identify the problem and set boundaries to help solve it.
Here are some examples. If you are very hands on during calving, set the boundary with your family that you are not going to be able to give as much to your personal life during this time, but will commit to a family vacation at the end of calving season. Or, if you are going to be putting up hay for the month of July, commit to being home from 6:00pm to 7:00am every night during August. Or, maybe your compromise is to take your family with you when you go check water each day in the summer. Or take your family in the side-by-side when you go around your cow herd each morning. Be willing to experiment to see what works.
Most importantly, let go of the guilt you feel about not working hard enough, particularly if that guilt stems from someone else’s opinion. I know that is so much easier said than done, but it really is important. If you are getting the job done, it doesn’t matter how hard you work. Outside of your immediate family, your work/life integration is no one else’s business. Here is a secret, if Mom/Dad/Grandma/Grandpa/Brother/Sister/Uncle/Aunt makes you feel like you never work hard enough, no matter how hard you work, they will never think it is enough. This is their issue, not yours.
Integration means blending personal/family life and work life. Do what works for you and your family. The goal is to enjoy life, and if your ranch life makes that challenging, it’s time to evaluate and make some changes.
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