One of the downsides of growing up in a small town is the magnifying glass that kids are under. I acknowledge that this is both a blessing and a curse, but for the purposes of this post, I’m going to focus on the downsides. Many adults of small towns tend to focus on who the kids are as kids, and lose track of who they will become as adults. We seem to let their triumphs and their trials in youth determine (in our minds, anyways) who they are as people. The first 18 years of their life are a blink of an eye compared to the life they will live and the things they will do. You haven’t lived your best life when you graduate high school. In fact, you haven’t even begun your best life, yet. Sports might be a big part of a kid’s life in high school, but may not continue to be a big part of their life for their remaining 70 years. They might get horrible grades in school, and be labeled as a struggling student, and become successful business owners. They might be the best behaved kid in your eyes, and end up in prison when they are 30. On the contrary, they might be the kid who is always in trouble but ends up having a flawless record and becomes a philanthropist as an adult. The lazy kid might end up being the one to run the country. The kid who chooses not to go out for one of the few sports offered by the school and is criticized by the adults who want to see the team succeed, might end up being just fine as an adult.
We tend to be very critical of kids in small towns, because there is such a magnifying glass on each of them. We see and hear about nearly everything they do. This inflates our admiration of those we deem “good” and inflates our disgust of those we deem “bad” or “not as good”. Often, this causes more harm than good, not just to the “bad” kids, but also to the “good” kids.
When bad kids are told they are bad, they believe it and will take that path. Some of them will deter from that life, and take the better road, but not all of them will. If only someone would have told them they were one of the good kids when they were young, or simply let them be a kid without labeling them at all.
The good kids often suffer the most. They may have inflated egos that come from being a big fish in a small pond, and are not prepared when life outside of high school hands them a dose of humility. Often the community pampers these kids in ways that are harmful to the child. We tend to look the other way instead of enforcing consequences, which can teach them that rules don’t apply to them. We can teach them that they are superior to others and that they are above doing certain work or tasks. They can also lose track of their priorities in life and focus only on the things deemed important by the pressures that surround them. Often these kids struggle when they leave their small town and become a small fish in a large pond, where no one puts them on a pedestal.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t support our youth. Quite the opposite, in fact. I simply think we should stray away from criticism and give all kids a balanced level of support. This means not putting some kids on a pedestal, and forgetting about others. Teach kids that there is life outside of our town and beyond high school, while also teaching them the value of how and where they grew up. Encourage kids to identify their priorities and live their lives based on those priorities. Teach kids that complacency won’t get them very far in the world they will soon enter. Teach them to be goal oriented and achieve those goals. And most importantly, teach kids that without being grounded in good values, no matter who you are, what your last name is, if you were good at sports, if you have been in trouble, if you got good grades or not, you can’t live a truly happy life, no matter your age.
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