Sometimes the hardest part of ranching is working with family. Nearly every ranching family I visit with has some sort of resentment towards other family members regarding something about the ranch. Family ranching relationships are usually the hardest dynamic on a ranch. I haven’t mastered family relationships, and probably never will, but here are a few tips that I think we can all use to help us navigate these difficult dynamics.
1. Assess and improve your own mental health. All your relationships start with you. If you are not in a good head space, you are not going to interact well with others.
2. Be honest. By that I mean, say what you are feeling. If something is bothering you, address the issue head on rather than hiding it away to a forgotten place that will inevitably create resentment later. When I say to address the issue, I mean to the person it involves, not to the people around them. This is hard, but this is a game changer for family relationships. Venting to others without addressing the situation with the person directly creates a toxic environment for everyone.
3. Provide a system for communication. If you think it’s just going to happen when you visit in the shop or barn each morning, you are wrong. Hold an actual meeting at a set time AT LEAST once a month with all the stakeholders (family members involved and employees). Talk about ranch business, but don’t shy away from talking about the hard stuff, too. Allow others to bring agenda items to the table.
4. Take responsibility. Don’t simply blame others for all your self-created misfortunes.
5. Treat the ranch like a true business. Manage it the same way successful companies manage their businesses.
6. Give up control when it’s time to give up control. Very few successful businesses have CEO’s and other leaders in their 70s and 80s who are making all the decisions. Allow the next generation to manage the ranch while they are in their prime management years (35-55). There is still a place for you to be involved, and you will likely be invited with open arms if you handle your ranch like a business and step out when it’s time to step out. On the flip side, you likely will not be invited in if you wait too long to give up control. This issue alone causes the majority of resentment among family members.
7. Create a vision statement or goals with your team. Give your ranch and the people on it something to look forward to, and a direction to head towards.
8. Be a leader within your business. You don’t have to own the assets or be in control of the ranch to be a leader. Start by stepping up and doing the things listed above with your family and ranch team. Be a role model, even if they aren’t accepting at first.
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