Is success a dirty word? I love living in a small tight-knit community. I definitely know that the pros outweigh the cons when it comes to small, rural, ag-based communities. However, today I want to address one of the dark sides of a small community: the fear of other people’s success. Most of us like to believe that we support and cheer on others, but I think that deep down, there is a mentality that if someone rises above the unspoken threshold of mediocracy, they are no longer one of us. It can be described as the “crabs in a bucket” theory. This says that as soon as one crab begins to crawl out of a bucket, the other crabs will try to pull him back down. Here are phrases that demonstrate this mentality:
• Sure he makes money on his cows, he doesn’t feed them! • Yeah, they have money, they were given everything. • He’s just a wheeler dealer. • They act like they have it all figured out, but I know how that operation runs on the inside. • Did you see what their calves weighed? What in the world are they doing out there? • I’d sure hate to be their banker.
Etcetera. Now, sometimes these comments are warranted. However, do they ever really help anyone by saying them? All of us have either said these types of things or heard someone say them. I know I have been guilty, for sure. Often, I don’t even realize what I’m implying until after the fact. This type of thinking has been around for generations, and is usually the overall mentality of the village, so it’s hard to escape it. We are a little bit indoctrinated, without it ever being a lesson that is said aloud.
We have enough enemies outside of the ag industry, we don’t need to be enemies within. Besides, it takes a tremendous toll on our mental health to regularly be critical and jealous of those doing better than us. As the old saying goes, “Don’t be bitter, be better.” It takes a conscious effort. Start supporting your friends and neighbors, rather than criticizing them. Spread the good news, and stay quiet about the bad. Start cheering for others’ achievements. We can change the culture of success.
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