Are you kind to the people who work with you on your ranch? Not just your hired employees (though them, as well), but also your family members? I mean genuinely kind. Do you care about them and their well-being? Do you bring them a Diet Coke (okay okay, maybe a Busch Light) in the hay field just because? Do you ask them if everything is okay when they seem down, and when they reply yes, do you ask if everything is really okay? Do you listen to their answer? Do you praise them for the work they do and show them you value them? If they aren’t living with you, do you invite them over for dinner with your family? If you’re the boss, do you ask if they need time off to spend time with their loved ones for a random Saturday? Do you offer to babysit their kids so they can go on a date with their spouse? Do you tell them you appreciate them? Do you sweep the shop floor without saying a peep even though they made the mess, simply because they didn’t get to it? Do you meet them on the road and stop to visit just because? Do you pick up the halter they left laying on the barn floor, because you know that you have also left a halter on the barn floor before? Do the people you work with on your ranch know that you care very much about them and value what they do for you and for the ranch?
OR…..
Do you scream and yell because you can’t ever agree on anything? Do you criticize them far more frequently that you praise them? Do you blame them for everything? Do you rarely take accountability for problems? Do you talk bad about them when they aren’t around? Do you passive aggressively send them texts or leave notes rather than having a conversation? Do you seek things they did wrong? Do you chew them out on a regular basis? Do you avoid them as much as possible? In a hard conversation, do you shake your head and walk away?
In my experience, it’s far easier to do the latter. It’s also more common to see ranchers doing the latter. We often don’t treat each other with respect and kindness on a ranch. We come from a long history of tough people who went through tough times and survived, so it’s easy to believe that screaming and yelling and chewing people out is just part of being tough. But let me assure you, being kind does not make you soft. Talking through hard conversations does not make you soft. Taking accountability without blaming others does not make you soft. Caring about others does not make you soft. Being kind and showing respect to others actually makes you the toughest, most bad-ass leader and role model out there. Don’t get me wrong, a good, well-deserved ass chewing is a necessary part of life. But being a jerk isn’t. There’s a fine line. And over time, someone with good leadership skills will grow to be well respected by others. Someone with poor leadership skills, even if they hold power for a short period of time, will fall. So consider who you want to be. Remember, the golden rule is to treat others as you would like to be treated, but the platinum rule is to treat others as they would like to be treated. And the platinum rule trumps the golden rule every time.
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